We are simultaneously stuck in both the past and the present. For many of us, the past replays on an endless subconscious loop – shaping our narratives, foretelling our future, and influencing our present. The thing about the past, though, is that our memories are often unreliable narrators. Recalling the details of something can be about as trustworthy as picking lottery numbers; you may be close, but not quite right. This is not to say your experiences were fabricated – your emotions and how they affected you are real. It is to say that reliving, revisiting, and dissecting the past can often trap us in a kind of prison: an endless time loop that gives too much power to what was, and not enough to what is. 

If we were bitten by a snake as a child, or said something we deeply regret, the trauma those moments induce can freeze us – keeping us from wanting to repeat the same mistake. Left unchecked, this can lead us to adopt deeply negative views of ourselves. The healthier path is to detach from past pain, process those emotions, and return to the present. Your past can inform you, but don’t let it imprison you from truly living. Free up that mental energy and reallocate it back into your now. We are not defined by the mistakes of our past, but rather measured by our willingness to change, learn, and grow. Let the ghost of past memories stop haunting you and let them rest.  Work through the past to make peace for your present.

In the words of one of my favorite Ted Lasso moments: “I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged by the actions of our weakest moments… but rather by the strength we show when, and if, we’re ever given a second chance.”

Learn from the past, plan for the future, but live always in the present – for that is where you have the power to act and change. The past is over, but that doesn’t mean it has nothing to teach us. It has shaped who we are; the question is whether we let it define who we become.